Hold me, I'm Sick
by Spikes KittyKat
Summary: This takes place sometime during Season 6 but goes AU after that point. Buffy and Spike have been having a sexual friendship. Buffy takes ill one night and patrols anyway only to be almost killed...Who will rescue her and what will happen?
1. Chapter 1 Rescue Mission

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Author's Note: The other stories were being betaed but one beta quit and the other is on a temporary leave. This story is unbetaed. If anyone would like to offer to beta it, I would greatly appreciate it otherwise just enjoy. It's a short story to hold you guys over since the other stories are on hold.

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Chapter 1: Rescue Mission

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Buffy rolled over on the ground holding her stomach. She hadn't been hurt like this for over 2 years. She groaned as she noticed the vampire still wasn't dead. She managed to get up just as the vampire lunged for her. She struggled under it, trying to arrange her feet to kick him but was failing as he wasn't budging even with her kicks and was shocked at how much pain shot through her system. She was sick and weak and during the battle, she felt her strength slipping fast.

She was already weaken before the battle as she couldn't resist stopping by Spike for some good old fashion sex knowing Spike couldn't get sick and that he would make her feel really good. He had offered her a chance to sleep off her sickness but she had refused and ran out. Now she was fighting with a vampire she shouldn't be fighting alone. She screamed as she tried to gain strength and barely managed to lift the vampire up just as he had sunk his teeth in. She groaned feeling her skin rip as she rolled over trying to avoid the vampire.

The other three were chanting for the vampire to finish the job. She was on a normal routine patrol heading back to her house when she had run into a vampire gang. It had ten members and now all that was left were four but this one was strong. She kicked him into the air and managed to barely roll over before he landed next to her pulling her back under him. She screamed again in pain that racked through her stabbed stomach as she felt his claws ripping at her clothing and her neck as he lowered his mouth back down to reach her neck again. She kicked him up feeling the tear of his teeth rip her neck leaving behind deep gashes and she felt him knock her in the head as her lost thoughts before she lost consciousness was that she shouldn't have driven Spike away earlier.

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Spike was walking through the cemetery pissed off. Buffy pulled her usual disappearing act right after their sex adventures yet again. They had barely finished when she was grabbing her clothes and taking off running. He offered to patrol with her but she refused and Spike being the worried vampire he was, had followed her anyway.

In the first cemetery she called him an idiot and told him he should go find someone else to follow. He had frowned and knew it was because she had a cold and wasn't feeling well. Even realizing that she really didn't mean it didn't make the pain any less when she turned around and slugged him a good one. She told him to back off and he had listened not knowing what else to do.

His thoughts stopped as he heard a scream pierce the air. It sounded really far away but he knew right away it was Buffy. If she was screaming something was really wrong. He took off running in the direction as he smelt her blood. Panic filled him as he picked up the pace jumping over gravestones in an effort to get there faster. He followed her blood and heard another scream and the smell of her blood was overpowering.

He began to feel a sense of dread overcome him and regretted allowing his pride to make him leave her side tonight. He knew she wasn't feeling good and wouldn't be top notch if some nasty decided to take a chunk out of her. He ran as fast as he could to see a vampire standing over his slayer punching her in the face. He spared a glance at the three vampires behind him and lunged at the one standing over Buffy before he did any more damage to her. The smell of her blood was overwhelming which only made him vamp out overwhelm with anger.

The other three vampires stood and watched as Spike punched the vampire before kneeling next to him punching him again and again saying, "No one touches my slayer. You hear me? No one touches my slayer!"

He punched him until the vampire's face was barely recognizable. Then he put a hand on the vampire's throat and leaned over to the unconscious Buffy and pulled the stake from her waist where he knew it would be and slammed it hard into the vampire's chest.

He then stood up quickly dusting one of the trio and kicking the other two down in one blow. One tried to scamper away but Spike threw the stake at him hitting his heart from behind leaving Spike with one last vampire left.

The vampire struggled under him saying, "Please Spike don't kill me. I know who you are and I won't even touch the slayer again. We didn't know she was yours. There's no mark on her and you had never bitten her or anything to tell us."

Spike eyed the lower vampire and decided he would send a message through him. "I'm going to let you go but with the agreement that you will spread the word not to mess with Buffy. Understand?" The vampire nodded his head and Spike let go of his chest allowing the vampire to run away. He then turned around picking up Buffy's favorite stake and tucked it into his duster as he noticed Buffy was really in bad shape.

Spike removed his duster knowing he would probably regret the action and carefully wrapped Buffy in his trusty duster and carried her in the direction of his crypt.

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Spike slammed open the door of his crypt after having to fight off and dust two other vampires who had gotten a whiff of slayer blood and tried to join in on the feast they thought Spike was having. He had hated putting Buffy down in order to dust them but knew it was what he had to do. He entered the crypt feeling her barely breathing in his arms. For a brief moment, Spike was tempted to take his slayer to the hospital but he really wanted to see the damage before he put her through that. There would be questions that he didn't have the answer to and he knew how much she hated hospitals ever since her mum died so he really didn't want her to have to go through that again.

He laid her down on the bed pulling over an extra blanket so he didn't get too much blood on the bed and slowly removed her clothing that were pretty much ripped off her anyway. He grimaced as he saw the hole in her stomach and knew that had to be caused by her own stake. He ran to his makeshift bathroom that he had rigged up when Buffy had started coming over a lot, and grabbed some bandages she had left behind and the tape, returning to her side.

He used the bandages adding pressure to the wound and closed his eyes hoping it would stop. The bandages were soaked with blood but the wound itself seemed to be healing. He was so thankful she had slayer healing power as he leaned down and before he could stop himself, licked the wound clean and sealed it. He closed his eyes allowing the blood to make his head soar before he shook his head not allowing himself the pleasure while Buffy lay on his bed possibly dying. He quickly checked the other wounds and noticed she had bumped her head at some point during her struggle and had a slight cut there but it was already sealing up nicely so he did nothing for it.

Then he noticed she had bruises over her body and a few cuts that had been bleeding but now stopped. He sighed in relief until he noticed the vampire had managed to take a few chunks out of her neck. He could have cried as he carefully licked the gashes sealing them. That vampire was definitely not careful with his actions and Spike shuddered knowing how careful he would have been with such a rare gift. He leaned down carefully picking her up and carried her over to the makeshift shower. He removed his clothes knowing he would have to climb in with her and removed her boots and socks as well as his lifting her into under the chilled water.

She shivered and opened her eyes whispering, "Spike?"

Spike nodded whispering, "I got you. Don't move too much. I just need to get the scent of blood off you. It's driving me crazy."

She tried to smile but couldn't and found herself shivering in his arms as his hands moved over her with the washcloth she had left here for her use. She smelled the scent of vanilla as she felt her being pulled onto Spike's lap and gently washed clean. It was the first time a shower with Spike had ever been nonsexual.

She sniffled as she shivered again and he said, "Easy luv, I'll get you warmed up."

She nodded gratefully as she wrapped her arms around his neck as he stood up carrying her over to the bed. She felt him dry her off with a fluffy towel and smiled knowing he had bought that for her after she insisted on taking showers here before their sex because she had smelt like her work place. Spike had never complained but she knew she stank. Even the vampires she killed had complained on days she hadn't stopped by Spike's to clean up and have sex before heading out.

She sighed as she felt her whole body continue to shiver. She didn't know if it was because she was really cold, too hurt or because she had a fever. Spike returned to her side ready to pull a shirt of his over her head and she shook his head.

He sighed and tossed it aside whispering, "Get under the covers, Buffy. You're burning up with a fever."

Buffy tried but her eyesight was so blurry so she felt herself being lifted up into his arms as he pulled the blanket over both of them. Just as he was about to release her, she shook her head violently whispering, "Stay and just hold me. I don't feel good Spike."

Spike kissed her forehead a bit scared at how hot she felt. Sure she always had felt hot towards him but this was burning up as her little body felt it was on fire. She shivered a little more and Spike laid down on the bed pulling her into his arms so she was resting her hot head on his cool chest.

Buffy whispered softly, "Your body feels cool against mine. It's nice."

Spike chuckled saying, "Vampire remember?"

For a moment, Buffy said nothing and then he heard in the quietest, weakest tone he had ever heard from her, "Read another poem to me?"

Spike shrugged not wanting to deny her anything when she was so sick. She had only let him read some to her once. She had a bad day and was looking for release and of course as always, had run to Spike for that release. She had come in when he was writing a poem in his journal and he had admitted to writing poetry and keeping it in a journal. She had asked to borrow it but he had shook his head not wanting it out of his sight. He had lived centuries with teasing and couldn't bear it from her as well.

He nodded and reached over her and pulling the journal containing his poetry off the stand that he never bothered to lock up around her knowing she wouldn't snoop without his permission. She was good like that. He opened it up to the middle where his poetry was about Buffy and began to recite to her. She snuggled closer for once not fussing as one of his arms went around her and she fell asleep to the sound of his voice helping her to relax.


	2. Chapter 2 High Fever

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Chapter 2: High Fever

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_Song by 3 Doors Down, It's Not My Time._

Spike woke up feeling Buffy moaning and thrashing around on the opposite side of the bed. He sat up and saw that with all her moving around, the wound on her stomach had opened. He frowned and tried to calm her down in order to stop the bleeding. He figured her fever was creating nightmares so he pulled her close rocking her gently as he used to do with Drusilla when she was sick after the mob in Prague.

Buffy whispered, "Spike?"

Spike placed a kiss on her forehead realizing she was still really hot and continued to rock her gently, "Easy Buffy, you have a fever. I'll be right back."

Spike went upstairs and grabbed some ice from his freezer bringing it downstairs. She laid her head against his cool chest and placed the ice on the back of her neck just as she always likes.

Buffy whispered, "My mom used to sing to me when I was sick."

Spike growled, "I'm not singing to you silly bint."

She pouted opening her eyes slightly and Spike could tell her eyes were glossy from the fever. He whispered, "Wait here. I'll be back. You need water."

She didn't say anything only whined in protest when he put her head back on the pillow and rushed upstairs to get her cool water. He returned bringing with him a tall glass of water and helped her to sit up as he whispered against her ear, "Drink this. It will help you feel cooler."

She dutifully listened drinking the whole glass of water before laying back down on Spike's lap. She whispered, "I still don't feel good. Won't you please sing to me?"

Spike let out a deep breath as he shut his eyes hoping word never got out he was singing to the bloody slayer. He laid back on the bed getting comfortable pulling her into his lap. She bent her legs towards him as he wrapped his arm around her allowing her to rest on his cool chest again as he resigned to do as she asked, "What do you want me to sing luv?"

Buffy shrugged as she adjusted her body to be more comfortable and closer to Spike. Spike sighed starting to sing:

_Looking back at the beginning of this/And how life was/Just you and me and love and all of our friends/Living life like an ocean/Now the currents slowly pulling me down/It's getting harder to breath/It wont be too long and I'll be going under/Can you save me from this/It's not my time/I'm not going/There's a fear in me/It's not showing/This could be the end of me/And everything I know/Oh I won't go/I look ahead to all the plans that we made/And the dreams that we had/I'm in a world that tries to take them away/All this time I've just been too blind to understand/What should matter to me/My friend, this life we live/Is now what we have, it's what we believe/It's not my time/I'm not going/There's a fear in me/It's not showing/This could be the end of me/And everything I know/Oh I won't go_

He stopped singing as he realized Buffy was fast asleep. It hadn't been a love song by any means nor peaceful but apparently it had done the trick to put the poor slayer to sleep. Spike sighed tucking the blankets around them letting her slow and steady heartbeat relax him enough to fall asleep.

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Spike awoke to the sound of Xander slamming the crypt door open shouting, "Spike I know you're in here. Have you seen Buffy?"

Spike sighed easing Buffy into the sheets and frowned as he heard her whimper as her cooling pack had left her but he kissed her forehead promising her he'd be back knowing she was probably still sleeping and didn't even hear him. He pulled on a pair of pants as he grabbed a shirt climbing the ladder. He hopped up to the top level pulling a shirt over his head realizing his hair was probably a mess based on the way the whelp, Anya and Willow were looking at him.

Spike run a hand through his hair, "Something I can help you with whelp?"

Xander rolled his eyes, "Buffy's gone missing and I'm wondering if you have seen her or know where she might be."

Spike chuckled, "Ever notice a trend? Buffy goes missing and you guys show up at my crypt probably on your first stop in search of her and expect that I know where she is."

Xander frowned turning to the group, "He's right, come on. This is a big waste of time. He hasn't seen her."

Just then, a weak sounding Buffy yelled upstairs, "Spike what's all that noise? My head still hurts. Can I have more water?"

Xander ran to the opening to downstairs as he called out, "Buffy you down there?"

He started to climb down the ladder as Spike jumped down beating him to the ground and whispered, "Buffy luv, your friends are here."

Buffy ran behind Spike realizing she was naked and weak. Spike picked up his bloody duster and wrapped it around Buffy hiding her from Xander's view and Xander yelled, "Why is she naked in your bed and why are you able to cover her and what is going on here?"

Willow climbed down the ladder followed by the rest of the gang that had been waiting upstairs and outside but had heard the yelling.

Willow stuttered, "Buffy, why are you here?"

Buffy fidgeted with Spike's duster almost managing to open it as Spike pulled it tighter around her tying a random string around it that had had found on the floor as he explained, "She got hurt last night on patrol because she was out patrolling when she had a fever. You bastards weren't around so I saved her just as she was about to become a vampire feast. I killed the four vampires that were on her, protected her from a few other beasties along the way and brought her here to clean her up and fixed her up."

Xander glared quite angry as he moved over slamming Spike against the wall knowing with his chip there was nothing he could do about it as he demanded, "And what right do you have to make Buffy naked and clean her up? That's a job for her friends to do."

Spike glared at Xander shaking off his hold, "And how many times have you seen the girl naked before?"

Xander stuttered with no answer as Willow spoke up, "Well we are here to take care of her."

Spike glared at Willow, "So how many people in this room have seen her naked? Let's see a show of hands? How many have seen her with headaches or sick? How many have seen her period in the last few months?"

Buffy felt weak and grabbed onto Spike for support and he sighed as he said, "Bugger off and go upstairs. I need to get her back into bed."

Xander put his hands on his hips, "She's not staying here with you."

Spike picked her up into his arms, "She has a fever of over 102. She's not able to even stand she's so weak and you want to drag her outside through the rain to what make her better? I think not."

Buffy put her arms tightly around Spike not wanting to be taken away and Xander saw the gesture and frowned.

Buffy whispered softly so only Xander could hear her, "Let me stay. Spike always takes good care of me."

Xander frowned as Anya put a hand on his shoulder leading him back upstairs. Xander yelled, "We aren't leaving so tuck her in and we will meet you upstairs."

Spike sighed unwrapping the duster from around her body and frowned as he saw her reopened wound. He whispered, "Buffy luv you should have stayed in bed. I have to redress this. It might hurt."

He removed the bandages as careful as he could and let out a deep breath he had been holding unable to resist taking his tongue over the wound to seal it better than the bandages had.

Buffy moaned in response and threaded her hand through his hair and he shook his head removing her hands whispering, "Now isn't the time love. Perhaps when you are feeling better and we are alone."

He carefully wrapped a bandage around her wound and sighed noticing he was going to have to do a better job as it appeared a few of her ribs were bruised if not broken. He made a mental promise that he would check on them later as he wrapped the blankets around her and went upstairs to deal with her friends.


	3. Chapter 3: The Shock of the Truth

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Chapter 3: The Shock of the Truth

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Xander watched as Spike climbed the ladder to their level. He noticed his shirt had some blood on it as did his pants and his hair was a mess but otherwise he looked okay.

Xander frowned at the blood, "You get beat up too last night?"

Spike shrugged replying, "Not really."

Tara pointed to Spike shirt where the blood was and he ran his hand through his hair, "It's the slayer's blood. She got a pretty nasty stomach wound by what I'm guessing was her stake. She has a cut over her eye that you probably saw. It appears she has some bruised ribs I'll have to wrap up later on to make sure she doesn't injure them again as she insists on walking around when we have company. Her neck also has some huge gashes from where the vampire took some hunks out of her but she'll live. Thanks to you wankers showing up, she reopened her stomach wound, which is why I'm covered in blood and why the air smells of fresh blood again. She was healing fine until you disturbed us."

Xander glared at him, "We are her friends and you aren't. We should be taking care of her."

Spike waved his hand in the air shutting up Xander, "The girl trusts me simple as that. We've been through a lot together and she's right, I'll take good care of her. I still don't understand why I'm the universal hub for finding Buffy. Just cause she's here when you guys come looking doesn't mean she's always here."

Xander blinked as his brain clicked on but Willow spoke up first, "Well you are evil. We never know what you would do to her."

Spike sighed as he slumped down in his chair picking up the bottle of alcohol muttering, "Bloody Hell. When will you people get it into your thick deluded skulls that I won't hurt her. I love her, and I won't desert her like some people."

Willow spoke quietly, "We don't leave her."

Spike got up and paced taking another sip of the bottle, "Let's see, her dad left her never to turn around and even look back not even when her mother died. Angel left her to go play games in L.A. trying to get to be human instead of enjoying the time he has with her. She would have probably given up her life to be with him and does he appreciate that? No he runs away leaving her alone to fight the good fight. And you guys, you judge her, yell at her, and spend so much bloody time making her feel like trash that she thinks she is trash. She spends all her time with me because I don't make her feel trashy or judge her. I let her be herself and I don't expect her to be okay with the world after experiencing heaven. When was the last time any of you guys can say you experienced heaven only to be thrown into a deep dark coffin and having to dig your way out of it. Then not only that but to be forced to fight to live because your so called friends didn't even give you a moment's peace and expected you to deal with all the problems. Those problems should have been handled by you people who are her 'friends' especially you witches who lived in her bloody house using her damn money up! The girl is struggling to survive and you are so busy with your wedding and with your relationship issues and with your magic to even notice she's drowning."

Everyone looked shocked that Spike was finally letting them have it after putting up with their crap all summer while Buffy was gone. Xander finally said, "That day Buffy was invisible, was she here?"

Spike rolled his eyes, "I just told you that you're a sucky friend and all you can worry about is whether or not I was really shagging the slayer who was invisible in the bed when you busted in on us? You lot are pathetic. Now get out before I give myself a headache throwing you out because it would bloody well be worth it. Oh and send the nibblet over with some clothes for Buffy for when she feels better and her stuffed pig she sleeps with oh and tell the nibblet to bring me that CD in the top of her sock drawer that Joyce used to play for her when she was sad. It might give her something to listen to instead of me singing." He turned away dismissing the group then remembered something, "Oh and call Lorriane, her boss and let her know she's sick and won't be making it for a few days."

The group looked at Spike's back with their eyes wide open and didn't know what to say. He openly admitted to sleeping with Buffy, seemed to know what she wanted when she was sick, and was caring for her when the group wouldn't have known exactly what to do. Buffy never got seriously hurt or sick at least to their knowledge.

Willow whispered quietly to Tara before walking out the door, "I didn't even know Buffy's boss's name."

Tara put her hand on Willow's shoulder and left. Xander looked at Anya in shock but knowing it wasn't the time to say much, he also turned walking out.

Anya stayed behind a minute to try to reassure him, "For what it's worth, I'm glad you and Buffy are having plenty of orgasms. She died and needed some badly. Riley was never enough for her. She was always unsatisfied and cranky. She's been less antsy lately and I'm guessing you're why. Need anything?"

Spike nodded, "Send the platelet over around 8 and she can watch Buffy while I do a quick patrol to make sure no baddies are causing issues while she's sick."

Anya nodded her agreement and left quickly to catch up with Xander. He rolled his eyes as they left, "Damn wankers."

He went to the fridge noticing he had some blood left luckily and vamped out drinking some because Buffy's blood filing the air was making him mighty hungry and he needed to redo her bandages to tightly wrap her ribs which meant even more blood would fill the air. He drank an extra pint as he pulled out a granola bar and some orange juice to bring down to Buffy to encourage her to eat before tackling Buffy's wounds.

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Xander sat down in the Magic Box talking on the phone to someone.

He said into the mouth piece, "Yeah I'm sure. Spike admitted it from his own lips. He said and I quote, 'I just told you that you're a sucky friend and all you can worry about is whether or not I was really shagging the slayer who was invisible in the bed when you busted in on us?'"

He paused and then continued, "Well that sounds like an admittance to me, doesn't it to you?"

He stared at the phone for a moment before responding to whatever the question was, "Well she's sick and left alone with him and I don't know what to do. Giles is in England and we can't really put a spell on him although Tara insists his aura shows he really cares for her and that Buffy's reflected that right back. But I swear something was off."

Xander paused again as he took a bite of his donut not even stopping to chew it, "Oh could you? That would be great. When can we expect you?"

He shrugged even though the person on the other end of the line couldn't see the gesture, "It's pouring down the rain here so it doesn't rightly matter when you arrive."

He grinned taking another bite blowing white powder from his mouth as he replied, "Yea I'll meet you there then. Sounds good. Yeah we will get to the bottom of this."

Xander hung up on the phone as Anya glared at him from her register. She didn't like this at all but what could she do about it. She sighed, "Xander can you close up for me? I need to ask Dawn for something to bring to Buffy."

Xander yelled towards her as she was about to walk out the door, "Can't I come?"

Anya turned around looking pointedly at Xander while shaking her head, "No it will only be a minute."

Xander sighed chomping on his donut just waiting for nightfall.


	4. Chapter 4: Just a Little Patrol

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Chapter 4: Just a Patrol

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Dawn collected the CD that even she didn't know about, Mr. Gordo, Buffy's stuffed pig, a cute black skirt and white top that she had seen Buffy wear a few times to impress Spike and a book of hers to bring with her so she could do homework while watching over Buffy.

She also packed a few cans of chicken soup knowing Buffy liked the stuff called Chicken and Stars and had seen Spike eat it on a few occasions as well.

She sighed as she remembered Xander's harsh words about Spike. She knew Xander was up to something as he had stomped back out of the house a few minutes later muttering about how something had to be done to stop it. She carried the bag into the living room to wait for the proper time and turned around to see Anya there.

Anya whispered quietly, "Going to Spike's?"

Dawn nodded and Anya requested, "Let me walk you over. I have something I need to talk to him about. I want to warn him about something Xander did."

Dawn frowned looking worried, "What did he do?"

Anya smiled gently as though she were smiling at an infant, "You're too little to know such a big secret. Don't worry though, Spike will know what to do."

Dawn eyed at her clearly unhappy, "You know I'm not really a little girl right? I'm a teenager and probably know more about this world than you do."

Anya patted her head gently, "Of course you do."

Dawn rolled her eyes picking up her bag and her CD player putting it over her shoulder walking with Anya to Spike's crypt.

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Spike sighed as he managed to have Buffy finish the juice and the granola bar. She seemed so weak and needy that he didn't want to leave her side to patrol. He was afraid of what would happen to her if she took a turn for the worse and only bite-size was there to watch her. He held her tight determined to keep her as safe as possible until it was time to go patrol. He really hoped it was a quiet night since he had gotten word through that vampire to leave the slayer alone. He sighed as he felt her snuggle in closer to his coolness knowing it was because she was burning up.

He heard her whisper softly, "Spike?"

Spike whispered in reply, "Yes kitten?"

She smiled but cringed as every part of her body seemed so sore, "Don't leave me."

Spike sighed feeling horrible he had to leave her, "I'm sorry slayer but I have to go patrol tonight. Your lil sis will be here though to watch over you until I return. Hopefully it's a quiet night. I'll bring home soup for you if you want. I can see if I can pick some up at the store to heat up here."

Buffy frowned as she wondered out loud, "Can't Willow or Xander patrol?"

Spike shook his head and pulled her head up to slide a shirt over her head. He had put a pair of his pants on her earlier but didn't bother with the shirt but didn't want the nibblet to see her or anyone else who stopped by. He didn't want to worry Buffy with the fact that he wouldn't dare ask her friends since they had the fall out earlier.

Instead he whispered, "In a few minutes, Dawn will be here with your favorite CD that she will play and before the last song plays, I'll be back."

Buffy smiled liking the fact that sometimes he reminded her of how much he really did love her. She couldn't stop from whispering, "You love me right?"

Spike laughed kissing the top of her heated head, "Of course and always will. Now get some rest and hurry and fall asleep so I won't have to leave you awake."

Buffy rolled over still resting her head on his lap and curled up into a tighter ball and closed her eyes. Spike ran his hand through her hair thinking how privileged he really was to have the slayer in his arms, in his bed even if she was sick. He wondered for a brief moment if this was going to change anything in their relationship. Perhaps she wouldn't be so eager to run away once she felt better. Perhaps she'd remember how well he took care of her and know for once in her life how much he really truly loves her. He sighed knowing that wouldn't be the case but thanked the powers-that-be that at least these last few days allowed him to comfort his golden goddess.

He heard Dawn's voice yell out, "I'm here. Anyone else here?"

Spike looked down thankful Buffy was sleeping and carefully picked up her head to lay it back on the pillows. She seemed unsettled for a few minutes but quieted down as he rubbed her hair putting her back to sleep before climbing the ladder, "Shh she's sleeping."

Dawn sat down in his chair putting her feet on the table in front of her, "Good because she's a bitch to be around when she's sick."

Spike frowned not saying anything as Dawn asked, "She treating you ok?"

Spike nodded, "Yea she's clingy which I like anyway. She hasn't yelled or anything once."

Dawn grinned, "She must like you more than she realizes. She's rarely nice to people when she's sick and she most certainly never lets them near her. Only one she has ever let near her when she was sick was her mom."

Spike listened and said nothing about that as his thoughts filled his head. After a few minutes he finally turned to Dawn, "Do me a favor and go downstairs and pop that CD into the player as I leave. I promised her I'd be back before the last song so I'd better get out of here."

Dawn nodded and did as she was asked and smiled at how nicely Buffy was tucked in before she climbed the stairs.

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Spike sighed as he ran across another group of vampires that while they got the memo not to mess with the Slayer, they didn't seem to get the notice that Spike was the one who said it.

Spike sighed as he kicked the second vampire on the ground, "You guys need to leave town and go far away taking your families with you."

The vampire stuttered having a hard time talking since Spike had his boot on his wind pipe.

Spike sighed and plunged a stake into his heart, "Never mind. You seem too stupid to listen to reason."

He turned towards the other two vampires who were standing in shock. He walked up to them shouting, "Boo!"

Both scrambled in the same direction and Spike yelled after them, "Why wouldn't you be smart vampires and split up to at least give me a challenge?"

He kicked the one vampire into the other making them both fall to the ground. He jumped over the tombstone between him grabbing a hold of a branch of the tree breaking it off as he fell.

He smirked as he stated, "Thanks for lining up so nicely for me."

Then he plunged the stick into both of their hearts and chuckled at the two dust piles that formed one. He dusted off his hands saying, "I wish they all lined up so easily."

He turned around to see a scaly demon heading his way. Spike staggered over to the demon greeting him with a mock salute, "What's up mate?"

The demon shrugged in reply, "I heard a vampire was here staking his own kind and I just had to see it for myself. There's rumors about you Spike that you have taken the Slayer to your bed and that you fight along side of her."

Spike shrugged clearly unbothered, "What's it to you? You don't eat humans so therefore you're safe. Why do you care what I do and don't do?"

The demon offered Spike a cigarette, which Spike took using his lighter from his pocket to light up. He took in a deep drag and blew it out as the demon finally replied, "Well it's just word on the street. You realize, it might make you and the slayer a target?"

Spike shook his head feeling pretty confident, "I've got her back."

The demon laughed amused, "I heard a few nights ago a gang busted her up pretty bad and that 'her pet vampire' jumped in and saved the day. That true?"

Spike took another drag looking as calm as can be as he replied, "All but the pet part. I'm hardly her pet. It's mutual you see. I scratch her back, she scratches mine. I protect her, she protects me."

The demon raised his eyebrow, "She protects you?"

Spike nodded his agreement, "Just the other month she was helping me to kick the shark loan's ass because I owed him kittens."

The demon nodded as he grunted, "I heard about that. I heard you dusted all his minions and he had to find a vampire to create more."

Spike took another drag of his cigarette before tossing it aside, "They shouldn't mess with me and my girl and they might have lived longer."

The demon chuckled as he waved goodbye, "Well watch your back and good luck to you." Spike nodded calling out, "Thanks for the cigarette."

The demon nodded back and disappeared. Spike threw his tree branch aside picking up the stake he had borrowed from Buffy and said outloud, "I think I've been long enough. Time to head back."


	5. Chapter 5: Interventions

* * *

Chapter 5: Interventions

* * *

Spike rushed back to the crypt smelling a familiar scent and knew it wasn't good.

He roared as he entered the crypt and Dawn turned from fighting with Xander and Angel to shrug uncaringly going back to her book, "I told you he'd be pissed you were in his crypt."

Dawn walked over to his chair where she picked up her granola bar and soda and put her head phones back in her ear to finish her homework and listen to Sex Pistols blaring in her ears.

Spike walked up to Angel and Xander growling, "Xander I know why you're here but Angelus why are you here?"

Angel looked at Spike and grinned, "Well William, you see I heard this rumor that the slayer is in a thrall and I said to myself, 'No way, William isn't patient enough for thrall to work.' So then I got to thinking that perhaps you did a spell because we all know how you can never have patience to follow things through and a spell would be a quick fix to Buffy not returning your affection. So then Xander here told me that Buffy is really sick and that you are taking advantage of her by keeping her here at your crypt while she's too delirious to know any better. Then to make matters worse, he proceeded to tell me that you announced to everyone that you are sleeping with my girl?"

Spike raised his eyebrow but Angel continued, "Now you tell me, why would Buffy sleep with you? What could you offer her that would make her want to sleep with you?"

Spike chuckled knowing that question was perfectly arranged to meet exactly what he wanted to say, "Well first off I can get off without losing a soul that whoops I don't even have. Secondly I'm loyal and I don't run away like a ponce with my tail between my legs when things get tough leaving her alone to die. Thirdly well I get her off, and good. Oh and fourth…"

He trailed off seeing Buffy on the top of the ladder. She was still wearing the shirt and pants he had put on her, which made her look even paler than she really was and her body appeared so weak and little. Spike gasped, "Buffy why are you out of bed?"

Buffy smirked a little, "Well see I was sleeping nicely and the end of the CD was close and then I heard this loud roar and I wanted to know why when I was sick and probably dying, you'd be roaring."

Spike looked down at his feet embarrassed he had woken her up but Buffy merely shrugged it off more worried about the visitors rather than the fact she was woken up, "So what brings the party? Why wasn't I invited? I think your fourth response, Spike, should be, 'Ask Buffy herself.'"

Spike smirked repeating, "Oh and fourth, ask Buffy yourself."

Buffy laughed as Spike just stood there smirking. Buffy groaned in pain as she felt her ribs pull and her stomach ache form laughing. Spike rushed to her side leading her to the sarcophagus where she felt Spike's duster go around her body taking the chill off and she looked up at him feeling grateful. She glanced at Angel and then at Xander demanding, "What are you guys doing here? I'm sure whatever it is that is wrong with the world can wait a few days until I'm better. God why is the room spinning?"

Spike rolled his eyes, "Buffy you really should be in bed."

Buffy waved her hand at Spike steadying herself on the sarcophagus, "Well are you going to tell me why you are here or should I guess?"

Angel and Xander looked back and forth at each other realizing this was no thrall and probably no spell either. Buffy was hardly all over Spike, which would have suggested a love spell and she was hardly obeying Spike for it to be thrall. In fact she seemed her retorting, bitchy self so both felt embarrassed and neither answered.

Buffy sighed, "Let me guess Spike, you mentioned something about our sexual history and somehow because I chose to recoup at Spike's instead of my loud house, this got blown out of proportion to turn into some grand intervention?"

Angel decided to speak up moving to stand in front of her pushing Spike to the side. Spike growled but said nothing as he righted himself and left Buffy to handle it as much as she could before he would step in. Spike respected Buffy's ability to speak for herself. Angel growled, "Why would you hook up with Spike? You're scent is all over him and his is covering you? The air smells faintly of sex even."

Buffy tried to smile as she admitted in a sweet sounding voice, "Um I had sex with him two days ago? I'm guessing that's why it's still in the air?"

Xander's mouth dropped open, Dawn took off her earphones to hear what was going on and Angel looked horrified. Xander stuttered, "You really did have sex with Spike?"

Buffy shrugged, "I don't see why my sexual habits are any concern to either of you. You, Xander have sex every night with an ex-demon who had the same soul when she was a vengeance demon as she does now that she's a human and she would still be vengeance demon if it weren't for a lack of a certain necklace." She turned to Angel pointing her finger at him saying, "And you, Angel, you have sex with God knows who including Darla a soulless vampire and have a freaking kid that I never even knew about and you are questioning my habits? Go examine your own lives before you dare to examine mine."

Everyone turned briefly to Dawn who whispered, "Whoops. I guess I have a big mouth." Angel glared at Dawn knowing she knew that because she had called when Buffy died and heard the latest gossip from Cordelia.

Buffy shivered visibly and Spike finally spoke up, "Now get out and leave the girl rest."

Angel wasn't sure what to say. He didn't tell her about Connor and he wasn't even sure why he didn't. Xander thought about what she said and walked out in defeat. Spike meanwhile picked up Buffy who was shaking more and more and jumped down to the lower level removing the duster from her and wrapped her up in warm blankets.

Dawn put her head downstairs saying, "Good speech Buffy. I couldn't have said it better myself. I have homework so I'll be back tomorrow. Spike I left soup cans on the counter and brought milk with me for it oh and I put your blood jar back in the fridge."

Spike yelled back covering Buffy's ears, "Thanks nibblet. See you tomorrow."

Dawn whistled as she left the two alone feeling very happy the two of them were finally together.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Spike checked her wounds noticing she didn't really reopen anything and Buffy whispered, "Hold me while I sleep?"

Spike was really enjoying the closeness they were feeling as he climbed into bed. Buffy sat up pulling his shirt off as well as hers as she sighed trying to remove her pants. Spike raised an eyebrow at her but helped her to remove her pants and she tugged on his. He whispered, "What are you up to?"

Buffy smiled slightly as she managed to remove his belt and pull his pants half way off. Spike climbed out of the bed pulling his pants the rest of the way down and climbed back in.

Buffy snuggled up next to him whispering, "Your cool body feels good against my warm one."

Spike chuckled as her quiet voice reached his ears, "Will you read another poem to me?"

Spike rolled over slightly picking up the book he had left on the nightstand and opened it up to his favorite of Buffy. He had wrote it on the day they were engaged. He decided to mention that, "This was right after I was released at Giles after Willow's spell."

Buffy smiled remembering that day as she yawned. She had never felt so wiped out of energy in her life and she listened as he recited the poem to her. Between the feeling of his chest vibrating and the sound of his British accent and soft tones, she drifted off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6: Good Awakenings

* * *

Chapter 6: Good Awakenings

* * *

Buffy yawned as she awoke feeling pretty good. She leaned down and licked Spike's nipples enjoying the way he moaned in his sleep whispering her name. She wiggled on top of his waist and moaned as his erection rubbed against her clit making her body tingle. Her head still felt a little foggy but she felt horny and wanted Spike badly. Waking up with him laying next to her was driving her crazy. She ran her warm fingers over his cool chest pausing to trace around his nipples before sucking them into her mouth. She wiggled down to rest on his knees licking her lips as she was dying to taste him. She never did this for anyone else because Riley never liked it and preferred slow sex to any real foreplay and of course the others were one-night stands. Based on Spike's reaction the day she was invisible, she knew he would like this. She licked her dry lips making them moist as she opened her mouth sucking him in.

His hips arched as his eyes sprung open as he roared out, "Buffy."

She ran her fingers up and down his thighs as she moved one of her fingers up to cover his mouth making a shush motion. She then swallowed around his erection and he groaned out her name moving one hand to grip the bed sheets tightly and the other to run through her hair. She gasped as she realized she still had some left that she hadn't put into her mouth and decided just to work with what she could take in. She was a tad nervous as she moved her tongue around his erection remembering Anya's comment about it once saying to suck on it like a lollipop and to tongue it like a cat laps at milk. She swirled her tongue around the base feeling the tip slide further down her throat.

She was so afraid she would gag and ruin the moment but Spike was groaning loudly and encouraging her, "My God, it feels so good. You are so hot and warm and your mouth feels divine. I feel like I'm on fire Buffy. You make me feel so alive. I'm getting closer and closer Buffy."

Buffy kept alternating sucking and licking and she brought her hand up to his balls to fondle them as he suddenly pulled her mouth from his erection and she bit her lower lip in worry, "Did I do something wrong?"

Spike chuckled as he shook his head moving a hand down to feel if she was ready for him. He felt his hand became drenched with her fluids as he realized she was more than ready for him. He whispered in her ear, "Ready for me?"

She didn't answer and instead lowered herself down onto his erection. He groaned out in pleasure and she began to move. After moving a few minutes he noticed her slowing down and he whispered, "Want to stop? I'll use my hand to get you off if you need me to."

Buffy shook her head biting her lower lip. She tried to move a few more times but was feeling so weak she spoke in barely over a breath of air, "You do it."

Spike didn't need to be told twice as he flipped her without leaving her so she was down on her back and she wrapped her weak legs around his waist. He nibbled at her neck making her body shudder in pleasure as he leisurely sucked at her neck giving her a hickey.

She was in too much pleasure to complain and instead moaned, "Spike…"

He created a fast but gentle motion rubbing against her clit with his pelvic bone with each moment. Buffy took turns meeting his thrusts feeling weaker by the moment. Spike could tell she was close but that she wouldn't have the energy to continue much longer so he picked up the pace doing the hard work for her and then moved his hand to where they joined rubbing her clit hard and fast. Her inner muscles worked over time squeezing him making him as close as her. She whispered, "Spike…."

He leaned down kissing her on the lips as he plunged into her one more time as she screamed out his name into his mouth, in pleasure and clung onto him for dear life. He plunged into her one more time spilling himself inside of her as he rolled over as to not land her and pulled her with him to rest on top of him in the original position they were in when they started. Buffy laid her warm head over his cool chest as she whispered, "I needed that."

Spike chuckled and said, "I could tell pet. Somehow I could tell."

Buffy smiled as she whispered, "If I sleep, will you wake me up in a few hours for soup? I haven't eaten lately and I'm getting weak even though I'm feeling a tad better."

Spike nodded and kissed her forehead as he said, "You feel a tad bit cooler."

Buffy didn't respond and instead yawned as she wrapped her arms around his cool body and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Spike hummed as he stirred the soup in his makeshift stove. A few weeks ago, he had figured out how to borrow electricity to create a stovetop from a grill. He tasted the soup and was glad he had crackers to go with it. He wished he had a sandwich for Buffy but knew her stomach probably couldn't take the sandwich anyway. He took out two mugs that had he stolen from Giles's place. One being the "Kiss the Librarian" mug that he always used for his stuff and the other being a clean new mug that Spike had swiped without Giles knowing it. It had a picture of a castle on it. Spike wasn't exactly sure where the castle was from but it didn't matter as it was only going to hold Buffy's soup for her.

He was glad she was feeling better but a sense of dread filled his body as he realized that she might change her mind when she was in her right state. Perhaps Angel had a point in thinking that Spike was taking advantage of her when she was sick. Then his mind played devil's advocate, "Of course he's not right. He's never gotten to nurse the girl when she was sick so he was merely jealous. I get to spend all this time with 'his' girl as he calls her and he has no right to her anymore."

He liked his last thoughts and refused to ponder on it anymore as he grabbed a slab of stone that had been knocked off the wall in one of the many struggles this crypt had seen and he balanced the mugs of soup, a glass of juice and a glass of blood as well as a box of crackers. Before thinking he jumped down to the lower level and had to move from side to side to keep things from falling off. He put the stone slab on the floor as he brushed the hair off Buffy's sleeping face and bent down next other ear, "Buffy, luv, time to get up. Dinner is served."

She opened her eyes breathing out, "Spike?"

Spike smiled and kissed her nose, "Sit up, I have a feast."

Buffy sat up feeling her head still a little foggy and feeling weak but she felt him arrange the pillow behind her head before he carried the stone slab over to the nightstand putting it down. She smiled as she smelt the soup that made her mouth water. She pushed her hair from her face wishing she had something to pull it back and felt it needed a washing bad.

He read her mind saying, "You can go home today I think to take a good shower if you want or you are more than welcome to use mine. The choice is yours but first let's help get your strength back by eating this delicious bowl of chicken and star soup. I even have crackers!"

Buffy giggled as she rested the mug on her lap enjoying the warmth. She realized she must have broken her fever since she was no longer craving the coolness and was able to enjoy the warmth.

Spike blew on his soup and Buffy couldn't help but laugh, "Um you don't even feel heat!"

Spike shook his head, "Doesn't mean I want to burn my tastebuds off my tongue or that I want to risk burning up from the inside due to hot soup."

Buffy shook her head as she blew on a spoonful of her soup then took a spoonful into her mouth enjoying the way it warmed her throat and cleared her head. She sighed as she realized Spike was right. Her stomach was healing up quite nicely and she didn't hear the sound of the rain pounding on the crypt anymore. Her head was clear as well so her fever probably broke. She could go home but the real question is, what would happen once she got home? Would her friends be mad at her and hate her for sleeping with Spike and choosing him over them to take care of her. Would they stake him the minute she left? She gasped as she remembered that Angel was around and so wasn't looking forward to a conversation with him. She glanced over at Spike noticing he was watching her.

She sighed admitting, "I'm just lost in thought."

Spike nodded, "I imagine your friends will understand. After all you can blame it on the fever."

Buffy nodded looking back down at her soup as she took another bite. Her mind wasn't thinking anything like Spike's explanation and instead heard doubting thoughts echoing insider her head asking why she had said those things to Angel and Xander. Surely she didn't really feel that way. She was justifying her relationship with Spike. When the hell did she start doing that? She glanced at him again, "Why don't you hate me?"

Spike blinked staring into her eyes repeating in disbelief, "Hate you?"

She nodded as she stirred her soup absentmindedly, "Yup hate me. You love me, and I make you say it but never say it back. You'd do anything for me and I'm willing to accept that but never offer anything back. We have been through so much and yet you get nothing in return."

She looked at him with frustration in her eyes as she repeated, "Why don't you hate me?"

Spike shook his head trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Perhaps she still had a fever and he didn't realize it. He reached over kissing her forehead as she waved him off, "I don't have a fever and answer my question, WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME?"

Spike sighed placing his soup on the nightstand beside him and then took hers from her hand before she spilled it seeing how she was so upset. He didn't fancy sleeping in a bed full of soup. He sat up straighter turning in her direction as he stated calmly and firmly, "I could never hate you."

Buffy frowned, "Why not?"

Spike glanced down at the sheets as they pooled at his naked waist, "Well first off, a simple answer, we don't get to choose whom we love and hate. We can choose to pretend and act like we do but deep down inside, we don't get to choose. You're amazing Buffy. Sure, as you said, you aren't perfect and neither am I. We have an untraditional relationship but I know as well as you do that you care about me. I can't say the word 'for' as I won't even speak for you in that sense right now but I can say about. If I were outside dying, you'd find me and save me. Does that mean you love me? Probably not because you'd do the same bloody thing for a stray puppy and you wouldn't really care for it. It does mean however you care about me. I asked for a crumb of hope, a tiny smidgen that you care. I got it even if you are too daft to realize it."

Buffy's frown deepened at his insult but let him continue, "Tell me could you ever and did you ever hate Angel? Even when he was trying to kill people and ruining your life, did you and have you ever hated him?"

Buffy bit her lower lip and shook her head. Spike felt a tiny pang of jealousy but said nothing more about it, "That's how I feel with you."

Buffy studied him for a minute before answering, "You really do love me."

Spike agreed, "Yeah pet I do. Now will you eat?" Buffy nodded and accepted the mug of soup and started to eat dutifully.


	7. Chapter 7: Up For Round 3?

* * *

Chapter 7: Up for Round 3?

* * *

Buffy had a lot of thinking to do and couldn't do it on an empty stomach. She nibbled on some crackers and finished her soup and wasn't at all surprised when the mug was removed from her lap and a glass of juice promptly shoved into her hand. She drank it dutifully enjoying the feel of the juice replenishing her system.

She glanced at Spike who was vamped out drinking a glass of blood. She smiled at him as he licked his lips, un-vamped and then smiled back at her before vamping to finish his blood.

She thought this was so strange and yet comforting. She wanted to play ill so she could stay here but knew she needed to think. She was feeling better and wanted to work out.

She glanced at Spike asking, "Can we go work out or something? I really want to hit something."

Spike chuckled, "Whatever pet, as long as it's not me."

For a brief minute Buffy was tempted but shook her head, "Did Dawn really bring clothes for me? I need a shower."

She sighed after saying that last comment and Spike got out of bed as she couldn't help admire his body. His smooth chest, his vivid blue eyes that showed such power and emotion, and his long fingered hands that could make her turn into jell-o with the most simplest of touches.

She let out a moan as he barely touched her hand pulling her with him. He glanced back at her and she blushed thinking he must have heard her moan but said nothing about it.

He gestured to the makeshift shower, "Want to go first?"

Buffy shrugged and stepped in yanking him in there with her as she replied in a firm voice, "No hanky panky or I'll be too tired to work out."

Spike laughed loudly but agreed as they took turns washing each other.

It took every ounce of their will power not to jump each other especially at the feel of Spike's cool hands washing her breasts and she felt him give her nipples a flick. She wanted to jump him then and there and it only got worse as he knelt down spreading her legs and she felt his cool air on her sex as he washed it clean.

She had closed her eyes and Spike had given her eyelids a kiss, "Your turn, so snap out of it."

Washing him wasn't any easier and in fact she even heard him growl in response to a moan on her part as she washed his neck and then his erection. But they made it through the shower even washing each other's hair and he had picked her up carrying her onto the bed to dry her off.

For once even though she was well enough to do it herself, she didn't complain and Spike took full advantage of it. She did dress herself in the outfit Dawn had brought for her and she smiled slightly recognizing it as something she would wear to entice Spike and giggled to herself knowing Dawn had known that on purpose.

Spike had eyed her but still said nothing. He seemed really quiet and she wondered why. She was tempted to ask but was nervous about what the response would be.

Instead he asked hesitantly, "You sure about this?"

Buffy nodded biting her lower lip, "Perhaps they won't even be there" but Spike and Buffy both knew that wouldn't be the case. He could just imagine them now all sitting around a table discussing how to deal with Spike and his latest spell that he never casted.

* * *

*}-'--, --'--, --'--, -{*

* * *

Buffy walked into the Magic Box almost wishing she didn't bother. She felt tired as her thoughts were heavy on the way over but she really wanted to hit something and knew hitting Spike her caregiver would gain her nothing. She sighed as she ignored their looks and walked in the training room. She heard Angel say, "Spike, I'd like a word with you."

She was tempted to tell Angel to back off but figured Spike could handle himself and right now she really wanted to beat a punching bag into the ground.

Spike gave a shrug as a response to Angel and Angel guided him to a corner of the room far enough from prying eyes and ears as to not be heard.

Angel rolled his eyes demanding, "What are you thinking? Spike you know you don't deserve her anymore than I do. We are vampires and we do not mix well with slayers. If you really cared a tiny bit for her you'd return with me to L.A. and you can fight whatever fight you want to working with my crew. We are helping the helpless. I'm sure you'd fit in well there. Just leave Buffy have her real normal life."

Spike glared at Angel in response, "You'd like that wouldn't you? You'd like to be able to boss me around and try to make me fall into my little pathetic William self again while I spend all my bloody time trying to live up to your expectations instead of living my own life. Well news flash for you big guy, I'm Spike, not William the Bloody anymore and the slayer chose me. I don't think she loves me, nor am I thinking she ever could but it doesn't rightly matter now does it. She chose my company, chose my bed and she chose me to help her with her battles. She doesn't call on you anymore because you are a bloody fool who left her to pursue your own destiny. Well you do that but let the girl chose her own. She's not 17 anymore. She's 20 years old. Don't you think she's old enough to know what she's doing?"

Angel glared at Spike and threw him hard against the wall with a deep growl, "You aren't the long haul guy. Why do you even bother? Humans can't be with vampires for the long haul because they need children. I plan to be human someday so I can be with Buffy. Why even bother to stay?"

Spike pushed Angel's hand off his neck, "Because I care. I don't stay for some silly prophesy or because I want to earn some redemption. I don't have a bleeding soul to care about such things. I do things because they help Buffy and if I can make her life even a tad bit better than it is now, then I'll stay. Even if I do ruin her life, I'd probably find a way to make it better and then return again. Bloody hell, I'm not like you, you poofter. I don't run."

Angel growled throwing a punch at Spike which Spike didn't anticipate and didn't duck in time and growled as his nose was hit. He threw a kick at Angel who threw him against the wall knocking off a vase. Anya stormed around the corner, "You guys are going to pay for that!"

Angel sighed and nodded as Spike pushed a hand through his hair glancing at Anya with an apologetic look. Anya put her hands on her hips pointing to the door, "If you boys must fight, take it outside and stop ruining my money-making shop."

Angel and Spike both heard Xander call out, "Way to tell them honey!"

Spike rolled his eyes, "Is that all? I'm not leaving, that's all there is to it. It's Buffy's life, it's Buffy's choice. I only want her happy and if I'm the bloke for the job then I'll gladly accept."

Neither vampire saw Buffy who had snuck out during their conversation and had watching most of the interchange. Angel stepped back allowing Spike to pass. He stopped at Buffy glancing at her in surprise as though expecting she would still be inside the training room and he shuffled his feet putting his hands in his pockets looking down, "I'm guessing you heard that."

Buffy frowned, "I think so. I arrived somewhere around the time he made the offer. So you aren't taking it."

Spike shook his head and Buffy's heart raced. She didn't realize until she heard Angel make that offer how much she had counted on Spike to be there. She glanced up at him while her stomach did flip-flops, "Can we go talk? Like appear to do a patrol and talk?"

Spike chuckled and nodded falling in step behind her as they headed for Restfield Cemetery.


	8. Chapter 8: Feeling Better

* * *

Chapter 8: Feeling Better

* * *

Buffy looked nervous as she sat on the end of a bench in the cemetery. She sat sideways on the bench with one leg tucked under the opposite knee fidgeting with her hands. She was slightly chilled but knew that was because it was a chilly night, not because she was still sick.

She longed for the way she had felt when she was sick. She had felt so safe and comfortable with Spike and felt as though he would make the world right again. She wondered if that was just the fever talking or if she really felt that way and just never let it show.

Spike sat quietly not saying a word watching her. His legs were split on either side of the bench and he was smoking a cigarette. His eyes looked curious but still he said nothing as he watched her fidget obviously lost in thought. He finished his cigarette and was about to light another when Buffy finally spoke up, "Spike?"

Spike's eyes shot up to meet hers, "Yes luv?"

She frowned and wasn't sure how to voice her thoughts. She wished she could let him just tap in so she wouldn't have to say anything. Then he could see her confusion, see her feelings and help her make sense of them. She frowned even more as she declared, "Read my mind."

Spike laughed loudly, "Um if I could, I would have already pet. You drive me up a bloody wall with your hot and cold. I'd love to know once and for all which was the act. Was the warm loving side of Buffy who seems to give a rat's ass about me, the real feelings or was the cold, calculated Buffy who only cared about herself, the real feelings."

Buffy eyed him a little insulted but knew he had a slight point. Just not one she wanted to verbally acknowledge so instead she tried again, "I'm confused."

Spike nodded saying nothing letting her get it out. He knew her well enough that if he was silent long enough she would talk. She just was a person who needed time to get her thoughts together and by pushing her before she was ready, you ended up with results such as kicking and punching and anything else physical rather than verbal. Buffy glanced up into his blue eyes, "You confuse me."

Spike grinned, "It's mutual."

Buffy sighed thinking that wasn't a help at all so she tried again, "One minute you seem human and the next you seem vampire. One minute you're sweet and loving, and the next you are full of hatred. You kill yet save. You drink blood and eat human food. You write poetry about love and murder."

She clinched her hands together as she said, "You love me yet vampires aren't supposed to love. You'd die for me and not even Xander would do that. You're everything I'm supposed to hate and yet I don't. What am I supposed to do about it?"

Tears fell from her eyes as Spike glanced over at her. He had no idea what to say. This was his crumb, the little smidgen of hope he had asked for and yet it seemed so wrong this way. He didn't say anything because he was fighting the urge to run away like the ponce William was. This was ripping him apart. She sighed, "Tell me something, William. If you had no chip, what would be the first thing you would do?"

Spike looked at her searching for what she wanted to hear and seeing just tears and no hints he ventured, "Right now?"

She nodded biting her lower lip and he replied, "Honestly? I don't rightly know. I can't feed anymore and I don't really miss it. I don't wish to kill humans anymore as you guys are…"

Buffy offered, "Friends?"

Spike agreed, "Some are. Some are more than that. I guess my life wouldn't change much at this point. I'd be able to punch Xander if he deserved it. I could defend myself against blokes who wished to hurt me but other than that, nothing would change."

Buffy nodded, "You could hurt me yet you don't. That confuses me."

Spike still had no idea what to say and Buffy finally stood up, "If we tried this thing for real…"

Spike looked hopeful, "Try what for real? Like you and I?"

Buffy nodded re-biting her lower lip. She had bitten it so much in the last few minutes she felt as though se would bleed. She paced as she spoke, "Everyone knows about us. I like spending time with you, Dawn and Tara and Anya don't seem to be against it. Xander and Willow I'm guessing will come around. Perhaps even Giles will come around as well as Angel but what does that mean for me? Does that mean I kill good vampires everyday?"

Spike shook his head as he turned around putting a hand on either side of her bracing her by her elbows as he gently shook her, "NO Buffy. You kill evil blood sucking vampires who have no cares in the world. I'm in love with you. I'd do anything for you."

He felt a presence behind him and saw a vampire and lunged at him grapping him around the neck as he asked, "Vampire, what do you want to do right now? If I let you go, what would you do?"

The vampire shrugged saying, "Bite her?"

He pointed towards Buffy and Spike nodded, "Well here I am, I'm free, I've tasted your blood Buffy and do you see me biting you?"

Spike jammed the vampire up against the tree behind the bench, "What else do you think about doing?"

The vampire replied without hesitation, "Eating, drinking, killing."

Spike smirked, "Sex?"

The vampire nodded his head liking the fact he was still alive, "Sex is great as well. I might even fuck her before I bite her."

Spike growled but ignored the comment already deciding he must die, "So if you knew the world would end today unless you helped the slayer, would you do it?"

The vampire laughed out loud, "No."

Spike shrugged and snapped the vampire's neck wiping the dust from his hands as he explained, "I'm one of a kind Buffy. Angelus always said Dru did the job wrong. She forgot something that would make me less human. I dismissed it but I think he's right. Why else would I be content with my life?"

Buffy looked up at him meeting his eyes with tears in her eyes. She flung her arms around his neck as she pleaded, "You won't leave me right? You won't leave me like Angel, Riley and Parker did and even my dad did. You won't disappear right when I need you the most right?"

Spike shook his head, "Nah I'm here as long as you want me to be and probably even longer than that. This is my home with you even if you don't want me."

Buffy nodded whispering against his ear, " I don't want you to go with Angel. I want and need you here with me….I'll try the dating thing even though I'm just going to warn you, I suck at it. My relationships always end badly and with the guy leaving."

Spike chuckled, "Well I'm not leaving so tough luck on keeping that reputation."

Buffy grinned as Spike picked her up and twirled her around, "Sod my own reputation. I'm DATING BUFFY SUMMERS!"

He glanced seeing a vampire approaching and he pulled a stake from Buffy's coat and tossed it hitting the vampire square in the chest as he exclaimed, "AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!"

Buffy laughed placing a kiss on his lips as she stated, "I think this will work."

Spike beamed at her, "I think so too pet. So where would you like to go on our first date?"

Buffy giggled as she suggested, "How about to bed? I'm exhausted still."

Spike picked her up carrying her in the direction of his crypt as she shook her head, "No my bed…it's time you were let in completely."

Spike smiled so grateful for her being sick as he walked in the direction of her house knowing he would be finally accepted in.

* * *

THE END

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End file.
